How I Almost Lost My Baby

This is the story of how I almost lost my baby to something I had never heard of before.

Jayne was born on Christmas day. A miracle baby, the best Christmas present ever. A few days after my sweet baby Jayne came home from the hospital we noticed she was very mucousy. At night when we would lay her down it was the worst, she sounded awful! She was spitting up mucous, her nose wasn't runny or stuffed up, it was just in her mouth and in her throat which was strange. We could hardly sleep we were so paranoid that she would choke or stop breathing. Newborns make all sorts of funny noises when they sleep in the first few weeks, but as it got worse we knew it wasn't normal. We had been praying for Heavenly Father to watch over our sweet baby girl and help us to know what to do. Well, it was after business hours on New Years day, so we decided to call the 24 hour nurse line to see what we should do, because we obviously knew it wasn't normal and were getting more and more concerned. She told us that she needed to be seen by her pediatrician, so we called the next morning to get an appointment, they were packed full for the day, but when Dr. Park heard that our week old baby was having raspy breathing she made time and fit her in that day (I kind of think that she skipped her lunch break to see us). We went to the doctor and undressed little Jayne to get her weighed and have the doctor look at her. It was then that we discovered a big blister looking sore on her left side under her arm. We had not seen that sore before and were really surprised by it. When the doctor came in we showed her and then noticed that Jayne had two more small blisters inside her mouth. Well, it was obvious that Dr. Park was pretty concerned about it and she stepped out to call the neonatalogist at the hospital. When she came back in she told us that the neonatalogist wanted her to swab the sores for HSV. Herpes Simplex Virus. Yes. Herpes. Are you kidding me?!

Before I continue, I will educate a bit on the matter. There are two different kinds of herpes, type 1 and type 2. Type 1 is simply the cold sore virus, type 2 is a sexually transmitted disease, genital herpes. Now let me be clear here, I do not have genital herpes. They were testing my sweet 8 day old baby for HSV 1, the cold sore virus. Now, this was also a bit absurd to me because I have never had a cold sore in my life! Neither has David, where in the world would she have gotten it from? No one that I knew of that had been around her in that first 8 days had cold sores. 

Since it was a Friday, over New Years day weekend, it took until Tuesday to get the results. Dr. Park told me the news over the phone that my newborn baby was positive for the HSV 1 virus. I cried. I didn't really know what that meant, but it made me sad. She then told me that I would need to take Jayne to the hospital immediately to be admitted for a minimum of 14 days. Then I cried a little harder, this must be pretty serious. I called David home from work, we left Noelle with my mom and went straight to the hospital and up the the NICU. The neonatalogist, Dr. Singhal met us there and began telling us some pretty scary stuff. He did not sugarcoat anything. They would need to do a spinal tap on Jayne to test if the virus was present in her brain. If the virus was in her brain than the chances of brain damage or death were extremely likely. They would be starting her on two antibiotics and an antiviral immediately. She would need to be on the antiviral, Acyclovir, for 14 to 21 days, minimum. They kicked us out of the room so that they could do the spinal tap and IV. I couldn't believe this was happening. Just a few days ago we brought her in to the doctor for a completely different reason and now we were in the hospital, confused, overwhelmed, and wondering if our baby was going to live, have brain damage, or even die. I was in shock.

When they brought us back into her room, the doctor began to tell us more about neonatal HSV. He first told us that 80-90% of people have HSV 1, whether they get cold sores or not, you may have HSV 1 and have never had a cold sore in your life and may never get one. People periodically shed the virus, our little Jayne literally could have gotten this from anyone. He explained that there were 3 different types of Neonatal HSV. One is just skin lesions, skin, mouth and eyes. One is present in the blood, which causes sepsis, in which the baby can get very ill very quickly, basically the virus spreads through the body and begins shutting down the organs, killing the baby, sometimes with barely noticeable symptoms. The last one is present in the brain, which can cause meningitis, severe brain damage is likely and of course death. Now we would have to wait two days for the test results to see whether the virus had spread to her blood or brain.

The test results came back a whole day earlier than expected! It wasn't in her brain! Thank goodness! That obviously was the biggest concern because of the likelihood of brain damage or death being so high. They did find that she was septic though, the virus had spread to her blood, so it wasn't just simple skin lesions. Now that she was on the antivirals we wouldn't have to worry about the virus spreading to other parts of her body and shutting down her organs, there should be no long term effects. I have never been more relieved in my life! I was so relieved I started crying as soon as the doctor left because I was so happy, I hugged and kissed my little Jayne, all covered with tubes and wires and said a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father. Over then next several days we began to realize more and more how blessed we were to have caught her sickness when we did. Dr. Singhal said that when little Jayne was admitted just the day before that he thought that she was lethargic, she had a weak cry, she slept a lot and didn't eat very much. As time went on she was more alert, had more awake time during the day, she had a strong cry and was eating like a champ! The other symptoms of her being sick, besides the skin lesions, her sleeping a lot, not eating as well (compared to how much she was eating at the hospital anyway, it wasn't really noticeable at home) were so hard to notice with her being a newborn and those being normal newborn things! We may not have noticed her being sick for several more days, by then it could have spread to her brain or her other organs and it could have been too late. Dr. Singhal, after seeing how she improved in the first few days, believed that she most likely would have gotten much sicker and that we were very lucky to have caught it so soon.

We learned a lot more about neonatal HSV over the next few weeks. The mortality rate in the type of HSV that Jayne has is 25%. 1 in 4 babies who get this die. Holy crap! I had never even heard of this before so we asked how common it was in newborns, Dr. Singhal said that in about 6 years he has only seen 2 or 3 cases including Jayne, and one of them died. It's not super common. It's not very common because usually the mother already has the virus and has passed on antibodies to the baby in utero. Dr. Singhal theorized that possibly I had never had the virus before and recently contracted it, most likely in my third trimester of pregnancy, in which case Jayne wasn't given sufficient antibodies from me to fight off the virus when she was exposed after birth, but that's just a theory, we'll never know for sure. Basically it has to be a "perfect storm" type scenerio for a newborn to get the virus. Lucky us! Here is a news article from several years back about a baby who wasn't as lucky as ours; http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ColdandFluNews/story?id=6150484

We have to keep a lookout for more lesions, Jayne has to be on oral antiviral medication for 6 months, 3 times a day. We also have to go to Indianapolis every 6 weeks to see an Infectious Disease Pediatrician at Riley hospital and get blood drawn to test her kidney and liver function (because the medication she is on can sometimes cause issues with those organs). We had our first visit there about 2 weeks ago and the doctor said Jayne looks great! After about 6 months HSV 1 isn't that big of a deal anymore I guess, at least it isn't life threatening anymore, because babies immune systems are strong enough to fight it off normally. If she were to get another sore before then we would most likely have to readmit her to the hospital because of the original fears that it may spread to the blood or brain. But, so far, so good! She may never even get another sore in her life! That's what we are hoping for anyway.

I know that Heavenly Father was watching over us though. I mean, we called for mucus in her throat, got fit in to see the doctor last minute, found the lesions while at the doctors office, she had the presence of mind to call the neonatologist immediately, who told her to swab the sores immediately, which all made it so that we caught her sickness and started treatment before it spread too far, and it was because Heavenly Father watched over us, answered our prayers to protect our daughter and help us to know what to do. When I think of how blessed we were in that whole situation I start to tear up, because all of those little things added up and saved my baby's life, my poor helpless baby girl is perfectly happy and healthy now because of a phone call made at the right time, good doctors who cared and answered prayers.

Here are some pictures from Jayne's stay in the NICU:

Right after first getting admitted and getting poked a million times, she was exhausted.

We're in this chair for almost every picture because all the cords she was connected to made it so that she only could reach about 3 feet from her bassinet.

Her arm all wrapped in a padded tube thing so she wouldn't pull out her IV.

Napping with daddy.

Getting some cuddle time with mama.

Baby IVs don't last very long because their veins are so small and fragile, so they have to get new ones every few days, they were running out of good places, so she got one on her head, so sad.

I was extremely happy to find this little note when I arrived at the hospital.

Doing so good holding her head up. 

Pic line in her foot.

Bruised little hands.

Finally coming home after two weeks in the hospital! We were so excited!

Finally seeing grandma and big sister again. We're thankful my mom extended her trip another two and a half weeks to help us while little Jaynie was sick. She became Noelle's bestie.

First full day home and my first day home alone with both my girls! So happy!

Jayne has been home about 6 weeks now. She's about 2 1/2 months old. She is a great baby. She is happy, she smiles a lot and makes the most adorable baby coos, she lights up when she sees me, which makes my heart so happy, she sleeps great, goes to bed around 8 and often does 6 hour stretches at night, only waking up once to eat (sometimes twice). She doesn't cry much, she likes to look around and watch what's going on around her. She loves to cuddle but doesn't need to be held all the time to be happy. She is adorable! And I mean she is a beautiful baby! She has the cutest little nose and precious little lips, she has amazing eyes, they are big and alert and her eyelashes are long and thick. She has a birthmark on the back of her neck, but I'm going to be honest, I didn't notice it for several weeks because it's under her dark hair right where it's the thickest. She has a stork bite on her forehead between her eyes and one on her right eyelid, but those have already faded quite a bit and I expect they'll disappear completely before her first birthday like Noelle's did. She's a little miracle, I adore her and I love her completely! I love my little family!

P.S. Oh, and just for your information, HSV 1 lesions aren't always just on your lips or eyes, you can get them anywhere on your body. Jayne's was on her side under her arm, so if you ever have a blister looking sore and you don't know what it is, or a cold sore, don't go near a newborn! This could happen to you, and you may not be so lucky.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday!

On Christmas morning I had a baby. Her name is Jayne Terri Richardson and she is beautiful and perfect and I love her! It is a bit ironic that we named our first daughter Noelle and then had our second daughter on Christmas, but what can you do?! On the afternoon of Christmas Eve I had an appointment with one of my midwives, she checked me, I was dilated to 4cm and 80% effaced, she swept my membranes (again) in hopes of getting something going since I was already a day past my due date and was very anxious to meet my sweet baby girl. Well, it worked! That evening just after putting Noelle down for bed at 8, I started having contractions, which started out 2-4 minutes apart. After an hour I thought I should go get my bag together, call the midwife and head to the hospital. We left Noelle with my wonderful mother-in-law Marianna. I was a 6 and 90% when we got there. The pain wasn't too bad though, so I wasn't in a rush to get any pain medication. It was strange because shortly after we got to the hospital my contractions slowed way down, so after a few hours walking the halls and bouncing on a birthing ball I was getting pretty bored and asked my midwife if there was any way to speed things up. She suggested a few things, like aromatherapy, bringing in a breast pump to do some nipple stimulation, breaking my water, or even starting pitocin. I thought that breaking my water would be a good idea, so that's what we did. Well, I had no idea how effective that would be! She broke my water at midnight and immediately my contractions were incredibly intense and only a few minutes apart. I told her I was ready for my epidural and to hurry it up! Well, of course it took forever for the anesthesiologist to get there! Or so it seemed. Getting the epidural was rough because I was shaking uncontrollably and having so many unbearable contractions so close together that it was hard to stay still enough, long enough, for him to do it. He finally got it in and I was so relieved... Even though it didn't fully work and I could still feel pain enough to make me shake uncontrollably during each contraction. I was still relieved because it was so much better than before. Well, at 1:45 am I started pushing. I pushed for 8 minutes and at 1:53 there she was! My beautiful baby Jayne! It was amazing! David and I just looked at her and at each other in amazement. We make beautiful babies. Apparently, I had an artery tear in my cervix which caused me to bleed profusely, causing a bit of panic among my midwife and the nurses who called in like 10 extra people including a doctor to come stitch me up because they couldn't get the bleeding to stop. Well, they eventually got it taken care of, I didn't worry too much, I just held my baby and ignored all the people between my legs ha ha. Jayne was 6lbs 14oz, 20 inches long and beautiful as could be. Best Christmas present ever!

Jayne and I about an hour after she was born.

Little Jayne, less than a day old. Christmas day 2014.

Everything was great afterward, we were all exhausted, but we were getting ready to move over to the mother/baby unit for the rest of my stay at the hospital. So the nurse wanted me to get up and try to go to the bathroom before they moved my rooms. She helped me get up and was helping my walk to the bathroom, since I had had an epidural she needed to help me. We were walking really slow and she started asking me if I felt faint or light headed, I said no, then she asked me again, and then it hit me... I said "Yes, I don't feel well, she got me over to the toilet and sat me down as fast as she could, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way in and I pretty much looked like a ghost! I got dizzy, I almost threw up, I couldn't see, everything got dark and really distant sounding like my ears were covered or muted or something, I was going to pass out, all I wanted to do was close my eyes and lay down on the floor. Next thing I knew there were about 6 nurses in the room touching me, holding me up, putting cold wet clothes on my face and neck, trying to talk to me... It was all kind of blurry. They somehow got me in a wheelchair, my nurse kept telling me to open my eyes and look at her, but I didn't want to. They got me back in bed and started me on IV fluids, I started to feel way better as soon as they laid me down, but man, that was scary. They kept me in bed for another few hours before trying to move me again, and they went straight to the wheelchair from the bed this time. I guess I had lost so much blood that my body couldn't handle it, luckily I didn't fall and get way more hurt though.

The rest of my stay at the hospital was good I guess. I of course was really sore and exhausted and crampy, and I missed Noelle terribly, I had never been away from her for more than a few hours, and it was awful. She was only allowed to visit once (because of the bad flu season this year), so I didn't see her until the day after Christmas. Noelle cried and cried when she saw me, she didn't want anything to do with me, it broke my heart. I cried my eyes out. I bribed her with candy and cartoons and she warmed up to me again. I'm sure she must have felt quite abandoned by me, I've never left her before and then I just disappeared for a day and half. When she had to leave and I had to stay we both cried as they walked away down the hallway without me. We postponed Santa and opening Christmas presents until I could be home. The nurses made a small exception to the one time only sibling visit and let Noelle come with David and my mother-in-law to pick me up and bring me home. I think Noelle really liked that. We got home with little Jayne on Saturday afternoon. We opened presents after Noelle woke up from her nap, it was a good day. Noelle is a great big sister to Jayne, she loves to give her hugs and kisses and help take care of her, it's very sweet. She is very gentle (most of the time) and very affectionate.

One Sweet Sentence That Changed It All

Tuesday, October 7, 2014, 1:00pm

I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I love it. But often times I feel like a failure and like I don't do enough. There are pretty much always dishes in the sink, when the dishwasher is clean we will take dishes out of it for several days before I finally empty it and by this point it's already almost empty. Some days dinner does not get started until after David gets home, and some days it doesn't get made at all. We pretty much always have baskets of clean clothes laying around that we have to fish out of after each shower. I've been meaning to vacuum the house for a week now and it still hasn't gotten done. I'm sitting here right now surrounded by toys and blankets on the floor and all of the fore mentioned things in their fore mentioned state, Noelle is napping, but rather than doing anything to remedy the mess or to cross one of the twenty things off my to-do list, I'm sitting at the computer writing in my blog. I have a limited window in my current state of life where productivity is possible with my curious toddler running around sneaking marshmallows out of the pantry, but sometimes I just need a break.

Yesterday Noelle and I made bread together, I let her dump in the flour and stir it up and she loved it! All of the dishes are still currently scattered around my kitchen... But the bread turned out delicious. It was Noodle Day, so we took advantage of that and went to Noodle's & Company for dinner. We didn't win anything, but I didn't have to make dinner! Noelle and I spent most of the day at home, we spend most of the day everyday at home. We only left the house yesterday because Noelle kept bringing me her coat and boots begging me to help her put them on so that we could leave, so I finally obliged and we went to the mall so she could play in the play area. All we did all day was lay around and play and do nothing productive.

Thursday, October 9, 2014, 1:30pm

Ok, so it's two days later. I gave up writing in my blog on Tuesday because I thought it was too sad and depressing and I was going to try to say how it's ok that I don't feel like I do enough, because I do! But I honestly didn't feel like I could say that that day because I didn't feel like I did enough. And I was afraid asking David if he thought I did enough at home would get me an answer I didn't want. I've learned a few things since then. So let me tell you about that day. That day was a particularly rough day. After Noelle woke up from her much shorter than usual nap we went to the library and got a library card and explored the children's area for the first time. That was fun, but of course Noelle pulled a bunch of books off the shelves from who knows where and then pooped her diaper making it a short and stinky trip. After this we went to the grocery store for a quick trip, it wasn't too bad until I got to the checkout and the cashier treated me so badly that I began to cry as soon as I got in my car. When I got home I found that the power had gone out sometime while I was gone and although we had power to the rest of the house, the kitchen was without power, so the fridge and the oven were out, making it impossible to make dinner. David didn't want me messing with the breaker so I had to wait until he got home to fix it. We ended up going out to dinner at the Pizza Hut Buffet, which was actually quite delicious and Noelle loved it. After we got home, put Noelle to bed and did the dishes together, David and I were cuddling on the couch when David says to me, "I really appreciate all you do around here honey."

I just about cried.

So... now I feel like I can say that I do enough. I may not feel like I get a lot done or that I do enough most days, but my family thinks that I do! And that's what really matters isn't it?! We are our own toughest critics, but my husband and my daughter are happy, so I would say that that means that I do enough, because the happiness of my family is much more important than whether or not the dishes are done or if I had the time or energy to make dinner that day. Thank you David for loving me and saying that wonderful sentence to me when I needed it most. I love you. So next time you feel like you don't do enough Ashley, or whoever is reading this, remember that someone else thinks that you do.

Outnumbered mom

Sometimes I think about having two kids and it stresses me out ha ha. I love Noelle, she is sweet, silly, affectionate, curious, smart, loving, friendly, amazing, beautiful, helpful, empathetic, she's a great sleeper (now anyway), she loves to cuddle, she's great with other kids, she loves babies, she's a little angel and I adore her! But sometimes she can be quite a handful, as any toddler. She is quite dramatic and can throw a tantrum to rival anyone. When I think about our expectant arrival coming this December I get a little overwhelmed. Noelle gets 100% of my attention right now, and when she has to share me, how will she handle that? When will I take a shower? Or eat?! Most days I do those things while Noelle naps, so what happens when she's napping and the baby is awake? What happens when I have to go to the grocery store? I don't even know how that's possible with two under two! I guess I would have to wear the baby and let Noelle sit in the cart.... Did I mention the lack of sleep?! How can you do that with two kids on different schedules?! Will I ever have any clean clothes? Ok, I could probably manage to wash and dry the clothes, but folding them is like 99% not going to happen. It pretty much only happens about 50% of the time now anyway ha ha. So yeah, sometimes I think about having two kids and it stresses me out.

But sometimes I think about having two kids and it makes me happy. I think about Noelle and all of her wonderful traits and how she's going to make such a great big sister! I think about how my girls will be best friends. I think about all the cuddles and love I will get from my little sweethearts. All those little hugs and kisses I'll get. I think about how little and helpless Noelle used to be and I get an uncontrollable little smile on my face thinking about it, I have loved and still love watching her learn to do new things and become a little person. I love watching her have fun and interact with other people. I still get to watch her grow, but now I will also get to watch another little one grow up! How exciting is that?!

Just yesterday David was like, "Man, what are we going to do when we have two kids?! How are you going to do that all day when I'm not here?!" Uh, yeah, good question honey! Ha ha, I just said, "I guess we'll see!" Because I have no idea! It will be an adventure, that's for sure! We have managed to survive Noelle so far, and she's survived us, so I think our chances of success this time around are pretty good... Of survival that is, not necessarily of knowing what we're doing or doing it well, but surviving, I think we can all manage that ha ha.

I'd love to hear any advice anyone wants to give about adding baby number two to the family. Bring it on.

It's a girl! We have a house. I hate spiders.

Well, we officially announced our pregnancy this Saturday after having our ultrasound on Friday and finding out that we are having another girl! We are so excited! Luckily I show very small in my pregnancies, so we can hide it pretty much as long as we want. Anyway, a girl! Yay! I guess my intuition was right again! We are happy to be having another little girl, it'll be so fun having two girls so close in age, I hope they'll be the best of friends. Also, it's going to be significantly less expensive considering we won't have to buy anything!

I'm 21 weeks along as of today. I am a bit conflicted in saying that though, because in our ultrasound the baby was measuring significantly smaller, 9 days smaller. That's kind of a lot. That would make my due date January 1st instead of December 23rd. The midwife said they would wait until the doctor officially reviews the ultrasound before they change my due date, or until I get closer to term, if the baby still measures small. So I guess we'll see.

We finally closed on our house on July 26th! It was 5 days late, but at least we did it! We are so excited to be moved in! We are getting settled nicely, the main room is unpacked, Noelle's room is unpacked, the bathroom is unpacked and the kitchen is mostly unpacked. We are getting some work done in the kitchen, which they started today, but won't be able to finish until later this week, so once they are done we will finish things up in there. Our bedroom is looking pretty rough still, but that's because I'm going to be painting our dresser and headboard, so we can't put anything in them until the weather clears up and I can get them painted!

It's so fun being homeowners! I'm loving making it our own, nesting, and deciding where everything will go, David is doing lots of little projects to fix things up, like fixing our leaky kitchen faucet last night, putting blinds up in the family room, and putting doorstops in all the bedrooms, I must say it's very sexy seeing him be so handy. We also got a lawn mower and it'll be David's job to mow the lawn every Saturday morning, after mowing it this weekend it seriously made such a big difference! Our house looked so much better! And it didn't creep me out to walk in the grass anymore, so that was a definite bonus. We also inherited a tomato garden, of which we are very much enjoying reaping the benefits. Although, the garden is a little creepy too because they didn't put cages around the tomato plants, so they are crazy and everywhere and I have a horrible fear of spiders, and living in Indiana only increases that fear because they are literally everywhere! It's disgusting, so going to pick tomatoes from the garden, although exciting, creeps me out so bad ha ha. I know, I'm a wuss cake, but an unruly garden plus a spiderweb infestation in the backyard leads to thoughts of arachnophobia and killer spider half breeds taking over my house. Trust me, it's not good. A few days ago I took an old wire hanger and a shoe and got rid of most all the spiderwebs surrounding my house and garage (mostly garage). It made me feel much better and safer, but David thought I being a bit ridiculous. I didn't tackle the inside of the garage as of yet because it scares me too bad and because the light in there doesn't work, so the spiders have a definite advantage, and that's not ok with me! This weekend we will be getting some bug killer and spraying the garage and the outside of the house. That is not negotiable. Luckily we have only had some daddy long legs inside the house, the friendliest and least scary (in my opinion) of all the spiders. I think I have basically eradicated them all now though.

I'll post pictures later of our before and after kitchen and when all the rooms get done and pictures hung and everything.

Our Lucky Lives

Big things are happening in the Richardson household! David has finished his first year of graduate school, which means we have 4 more to go! Our lease for our apartment is up in about a month so we decided to buy a house! I know, crazy right?! But awesome! We have found the most adorable little yellow house that we get the keys to on the 21st of this month! That's less than two weeks away! No, I have not packed a single box as of yet... But I did buy some tape and a tape gun yesterday, so that's progress! I plan on packing our first box today, hopefully Noelle will allow it, because she pretty much calls the shots around here.

This is our cute little home to be. 

We are excited to move in to the new house, we will have a fenced in backyard for Noelle to run and play and for me to have a garden, the house is within walking distance from a great park with a free zoo, fun playgrounds, a pond, train rides, and even a small water park. We'll have a bit more space inside, it's a 3 bedroom as opposed to the two bedroom we are in now, which brings me to my next point, the new addition that will be joining the family in December, we are expecting baby #2! I'm 16 weeks along now and the morning sickness is finally easing up, although most days I still take my anti nausea medication. I don't know why, but we tend to wait to make an "official" announcement until we know the gender of the baby, so I haven't made anything widely known as of yet, but will in a month when we get our 20 week ultrasound and find out the gender! I'm thinking it's a girl, but we'll see! When I was pregnant with Noelle I knew she was a girl from day one, but this time it hasn't been so clear, only recently have I gotten more feelings that it's a girl, so who knows! But either way we already love our little one! I felt the baby move for the first time on Saturday, before I was even 16 weeks along! It was very exciting. I try to be still and quiet for a few minutes each day to try to feel it more, but the baby is still so little (about the size of an avocado according to the app on my phone) that it's hit or miss, but in the next few weeks I should definitely start feeling it more regularly, which will be fun. 

Noelle is still too little to understand all the stuff that is going on, that we'll be moving to a new house and that we're going to have a baby, so I wonder how she will handle all of the changes. She loves other kids and plays really well with them and she gets excited whenever she sees little babies, she always walks up and gets a big smile and touches them really gently (usually) on the hand or the face, it's very cute. I hope she'll love our little one, even though it means she won't get 100% attention from mom and dad like she's used to. 

We just enjoyed a lovely vacation with my family in the mountains of Utah. It was a lot of fun hanging out and having fun with my family, I seriously have an amazing family, and I'm really lucky. Noelle was in heaven! She got to play with her two cousins all the time and play outside getting wet and dirty! I'm pretty sure it was the best week of her life, she LOVED it!

We got to spend the 4th of July seeing fireworks and the Wizard of Oz at
Tuacahn with David's family and my sister and her family.

Hiking in Zion National Park with David's family.

We're having fun and getting ready for big changes ahead! Speaking of which, I better get off the computer now and start packing before Noelle wakes up from her nap! Ok, scratch that... She literally just woke up. Maybe I'll get some packing done later ha ha.

Better

Recently someone invited me to join a book club. I was a little taken back by the invitation, I didn't really know what to say, and it embarrassed me a little but to admit that I have not read a single book since I had my daughter over a year ago. They seemed a little shocked by my confession, but it is what it is. I find some time to read, it's just that I mostly read articles on mothering or marriage or recipes, in the few minutes here and there when Noelle is contentedly playing with her toys on the floor, or for a few minutes when she is napping before I get dressed or make myself lunch or put dinner in the crock pot. Honestly, I don't know how mothers have time to read a book and hold on to a story line with only a few minutes here and there. It made me feel like I'm not doing such a good job being a multitasking mother because I can't do it. I know that was not the intent of my friend, but it made me want to do "better" for a little while. I put the word better in quotation marks because when I think back on that, I feel a bit silly, because thinking that I needed to be a "better" mother because I don't find time to read books (ones with more than 10 pages that is) or go to craft night or even fold and put away the laundry is silly. I am a good mother. So what if I haven't read a book in over a year, I've read every weekly article on my child's development since I found out I was pregnant, I don't usually find time to go to craft night because I like to be home to put my daughter to bed and spend the evening with my husband, I may currently have 4 baskets of clean laundry in my bedroom begging to be folded and put way, but you know what, that is not my priority right now, today I played with my daughter, I laid down on the floor next to her for 2 hours because she wanted me to. Yes I know that I need to fold the laundry, but it's not going to get done today, and that's ok, David and Noelle still love me, even if we have to fish through the laundry basket for a week or more before it gets put away. It's ok. I'm proud of the mothers that find time to read books and go to craft night and fold their laundry, they are good mothers, and so am I, even if I don't do those things. I do my best and I love my family and I can't do better than that.

Times Marches On

Remember how it's been over a year since I've written anything on here? Ha ha. Yeah, I have a beautiful baby girl, Noelle Hailey Richardson, who is just over a year old now... And she is the reason I haven't written, she likes to take up all of my time, in the best way. I love her guts! She's my bestie, she's perfect and I love being her mama. Being a mom is great, seriously, it's so amazing being able to watch  this beautiful human being that I created go from being able to do nothing on her own, to being able to walk and feed herself and understand what I say. It's incredible and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to do that. I love that I have a husband that will support me in staying home with our daughter and being a stay-at-home mom. I can't imagine having to leave her with someone else so that I can go to work, I know tons of moms do that, and it's fine, but it's not for me. I love that I get to stay home and take care of my best girl everyday.

Well, seeing as how it's been a million years since I've written anything I suppose a little catch up is necessary. We live in Lafayette, Indiana now. It's not as small as you probably think... Well at least it's bigger than I thought it was. It's a great place to live, we actually really love it here, minus the horrible winter we just had and the tornado thing, also the smell is pretty bad sometimes because of a local corn syrup factory, but like I said, we love it here. If you watch the show Parks & Rec, we basically live in Pawnee, the parks here are amazing, we have our very own Sweetums factory and the people, though a bit eccentric at times, are really great. David is in school at Purdue and rocking the socks off of his first year. We teach the 7 turning 8 year olds in Primary and we love it, I mean we literally have the best class in the entire Primary, and I'm not just saying that because I'm biased... Although I may be a little biased. Noelle is amazing, although sick right now, she's been surprisingly happy and even tempered. We are looking forward to summer vacations and swimming as soon as the pool opens. We've been taking full advantage of the free zoo and have been several times a week since it opened. We love to visit all the new baby goats in the petting zoo.

Let's Get This Show on the Road!

Ok, well David is back and I'm still pregnant! Yay! Heavenly Father answered our prayers and kept our little girl inside my tummy until he was able to make it back. Now we are excited again for her to make her long awaited arrival. At the doctor on Friday they checked me again and I'm still at a 3 and 80%, so I haven't had any more change since our stay at the hospital. Now that I'm 37 weeks, I'm officially off bed rest! Yay! She said that now that I'm off bed rest she anticipates the baby will come soon, so we're hoping this week. I read up on ways to naturally induce labor, so I'll be taking a walk everyday, maybe even two walks a day if I feel like it! Perfect timing too since the weather has significantly improved recently, it's supposed to be in the 40s or 50s outside everyday this week, which will be so perfect for taking a nice enjoyable walk. I also found out that massages are a great way to induce labor because it releases the hormone oxytocin which can trigger contractions, so if David will cooperate, I hope to get a back massage every day this week :). Also there are some pressure points that are supposed to help, particularly the webbing between your thumb and pointer finger, so I'll be giving myself a little acupressure treatment in the form of hand massages throughout the day, it actually feels quite nice.

My mom spent the weekend here with me, so we did a little shopping at stores she loves but doesn't have down in St. George. I was able to get some nice curtains for the baby room that are supposed to block out 99% of light... Well, they definitely don't block out 99% of the light, but that's ok, it still makes it significantly darker. I honestly didn't really want it to be pitch black because I don't want her to only be able to sleep when it's super dark, so I think it'll be good. I also found a really cute baby book. I'm not a scrapbooker, I think scrapbooks are super cute and everything, but I know myself and I know that I would never spend the time to scrapbook, so I needed something simple and easy that I would actually do. Well, I found the perfect solution. There are these books called Smash Books. A Smash Book is basically a really cute book that is ready for you to glue your pictures in. It has really cute pages already set up in there, so you just go through and glue your pictures where you want them and make your notes and whatever, it makes it really easy and fun. They even already had a baby themed one, so it was perfect. Now I have a book to bring to the hospital and have them stamp the baby's footprints in the day she's born, yay! So shopping with my mom was a success, I got a few things I wanted but didn't have to spend a lot. We went out to lunch a few times and then just hung around at home the rest of the time.

As fun as it was to have my mom here, I'm so happy that David is back! I missed him so much! I don't think I slept as well without him here, so last night we both got an awesome nights sleep, which was well needed. David's visit to Purdue was a great success! He was able to meet with several professors that all said they would love to work with him! All he has to do is email the ones he's most interested in working with and they will email him back with an offer, an offer for funding that is! Which means if we decide to go to Purdue, we will basically have school paid for plus get a stipend every month to live on! I mean, we'll have to see what they offer exactly, but they basically told him that they would set him up, so that is really exciting! I knew that David would do a great job, so even though it was hard having him gone, it was totally worth it! I'm very proud of him.

Alright, well, I think I'm going to head out on a walk and try to get the ball rolling on contractions and stuff. Hopefully it works, although our little girl has already showed us that she is calling the shots around here, so I guess it'll be whenever she's ready, not us, but if I can help her be ready any sooner, why not?!

The Waiting Game

So, tomorrow I'll be 37 weeks! That's considered full-term! Which is great since I went into pre-term labor at 34 weeks. Yep, we almost had a premature baby. So about 3 weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday morning and was having some back pains in my lower back. They were really uncomfortable and kind of rhythmic, it was really weird and they weren't going away after a few hours of waiting it out and laying down. I remember I had read something about getting lower back pain like this when your pregnant, so I looked it up because I couldn't remember what I had read about it. Well, turns out it is a sign of pre-term labor! What?! Yeah, so I started getting worried and convinced David that we should go to the hospital and get it checked out at labor and delivery. David didn't want to go, he thought I was overreacting and being silly, but he humored me and we headed off to the hospital.

When we arrived they let me in and took me to a room and had me change into a hospital gown. They put monitors on my stomach, one to monitor the baby's heartbeat and one to monitor contractions. They did a cervical exam to see if I was dilated at all, took a urine sample and then just had me lay down. I wasn't dilated at all in my cervical exam, but I was having a lot of uterine irritability and I started to have some pretty regular contractions, probably every 2 to 5 minutes apart. After about an hour or so they came in to check my cervix again to see if there was any change, well, there was, I went from not being dilated at all to a 1+! So they kept me there and watched me for a while longer and pumped me full of meds to try and stop my contractions. I hated those meds because they lowered my blood pressure a ton and skyrocketed my heart-rate! At one point my heart-rate was up to 150 beats per minute! I was super shaky and it felt really weird. And the meds weren't really doing anything to stop or slow contractions. David and I were just watching tv and chilling the whole time, it was pretty boring, but it was ok. My back was hurting me the whole time, but I didn't want to take anything for pain because it wasn't unbearable or anything and I'm pretty used to my back hurting, so I just dealt with it. Well, after we'd been there for about 3 or 4 hours and giving me all that medication they wanted to do one more cervical exam before deciding to send me home for the night. Well, the nurse came in and checked me again and I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced! Holy cow! That's when they decided to admit me and told us we were going to have a baby that night! Yeah, didn't expect to hear that! It made us a little nervous, but the nurses and doctors were really reassuring about the fact that I was already 34 weeks along, which I guess is kind of a mile marker in pregnancy, because if a baby is born at 34 weeks she may be in the NICU for a few weeks to monitor her ability to suck, eat, gain weight, breath effectively on her own, and maintain her own body temperature, but she will have no long term problems, so we weren't really too worried, we just felt peaceful about the whole thing and knew that if our baby girl was coming that night, then everything would be just fine.

Well, they kept me all night, I decided to take the pain killers so that I could try to get some sleep, but although it helped with the pain, I wasn't able to sleep at all! They gave me a steroid shot in my hip to help with the development of the baby's lungs, so that was good. What was weird about the whole thing though was that overnight my contractions basically stopped altogether and when they checked me again in the morning I was still at a 3 and 80% and had had no more change. They kept me until about noon and after I still didn't have any more change they decided to send me home! Weird huh? To progress that much in such a short amount of time and then just completely stop! Well, it happened! They sent me home on bed rest, I had to quit my job a whole month before I had planned to and stay home, in bed. Well, it hasn't been too bad, I mostly have just watched shows on tv and played Nintendo 64. Somehow I have managed to keep myself pretty entertained. I learned why they want me to stay down, because on days that I try to get up and do stuff I start to have a lot more contractions and it gets really uncomfortable. I think they are mostly just braxton hicks contractions because as soon as I sit down again they usually subside, they aren't regular, and they aren't terribly painful, just a little painful and really uncomfortable, but they don't get increasingly more painful.

35 weeks.

35 weeks 6 days. Even though I'm on bed rest, I couldn't miss my best friend's baby shower! Her due date is the day before mine, March 21st.

36 weeks, didn't think I'd make it this far!

Well, ever since they sent me home on bed rest we have been expecting our little girl to arrive any day! You get kind of excited when they tell you that you're going to have a baby that night and then you get impatient when 3 weeks later you still don't have one! I mean it's good because now she will be full-term and shouldn't have any health issues, so she should be able to come straight home with us! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so since I will be full-term tomorrow, I'm going to ask if I still have to be on bed rest, and hopefully they'll let me off and grant me some more freedom.

David and I are so ready for our baby girl to get here! We just want to play with her and cuddle with her and give her all sorts of lovin'! She is going to be one spoiled little girl! We still think she can come at any time, the only thing that we're worried about now is that David left town this morning and won't be back until Sunday morning... So she can't come until Sunday afternoon at the earliest! We have been really nervous about him leaving town because we haven't had the baby yet, so we've just been praying really hard that we won't have her until after he's back. He flew to Indiana to visit Purdue University, he got accepted there and they paid to fly him out there for the weekend to meet with the professors and other graduate students and tour the labs. He'll have the opportunity to meet one-on-one with the professors he's interested in working with, and hopefully he will get offered some funding to work with some of them. I'm super proud of him and I know he'll do great this weekend and impress the snot out of Purdue. I miss him already though, this will be the first night since we've been married that we will spend apart. My mom is coming up to "babysit" me (because apparently nobody thinks I can be alone) and keep me company while he's gone, but I still can't wait until he gets back! And then I can start looking forward to our baby again instead of being paranoid that she'll try to come while her daddy is out of town.