One Sweet Sentence That Changed It All

Tuesday, October 7, 2014, 1:00pm

I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I love it. But often times I feel like a failure and like I don't do enough. There are pretty much always dishes in the sink, when the dishwasher is clean we will take dishes out of it for several days before I finally empty it and by this point it's already almost empty. Some days dinner does not get started until after David gets home, and some days it doesn't get made at all. We pretty much always have baskets of clean clothes laying around that we have to fish out of after each shower. I've been meaning to vacuum the house for a week now and it still hasn't gotten done. I'm sitting here right now surrounded by toys and blankets on the floor and all of the fore mentioned things in their fore mentioned state, Noelle is napping, but rather than doing anything to remedy the mess or to cross one of the twenty things off my to-do list, I'm sitting at the computer writing in my blog. I have a limited window in my current state of life where productivity is possible with my curious toddler running around sneaking marshmallows out of the pantry, but sometimes I just need a break.

Yesterday Noelle and I made bread together, I let her dump in the flour and stir it up and she loved it! All of the dishes are still currently scattered around my kitchen... But the bread turned out delicious. It was Noodle Day, so we took advantage of that and went to Noodle's & Company for dinner. We didn't win anything, but I didn't have to make dinner! Noelle and I spent most of the day at home, we spend most of the day everyday at home. We only left the house yesterday because Noelle kept bringing me her coat and boots begging me to help her put them on so that we could leave, so I finally obliged and we went to the mall so she could play in the play area. All we did all day was lay around and play and do nothing productive.

Thursday, October 9, 2014, 1:30pm

Ok, so it's two days later. I gave up writing in my blog on Tuesday because I thought it was too sad and depressing and I was going to try to say how it's ok that I don't feel like I do enough, because I do! But I honestly didn't feel like I could say that that day because I didn't feel like I did enough. And I was afraid asking David if he thought I did enough at home would get me an answer I didn't want. I've learned a few things since then. So let me tell you about that day. That day was a particularly rough day. After Noelle woke up from her much shorter than usual nap we went to the library and got a library card and explored the children's area for the first time. That was fun, but of course Noelle pulled a bunch of books off the shelves from who knows where and then pooped her diaper making it a short and stinky trip. After this we went to the grocery store for a quick trip, it wasn't too bad until I got to the checkout and the cashier treated me so badly that I began to cry as soon as I got in my car. When I got home I found that the power had gone out sometime while I was gone and although we had power to the rest of the house, the kitchen was without power, so the fridge and the oven were out, making it impossible to make dinner. David didn't want me messing with the breaker so I had to wait until he got home to fix it. We ended up going out to dinner at the Pizza Hut Buffet, which was actually quite delicious and Noelle loved it. After we got home, put Noelle to bed and did the dishes together, David and I were cuddling on the couch when David says to me, "I really appreciate all you do around here honey."

I just about cried.

So... now I feel like I can say that I do enough. I may not feel like I get a lot done or that I do enough most days, but my family thinks that I do! And that's what really matters isn't it?! We are our own toughest critics, but my husband and my daughter are happy, so I would say that that means that I do enough, because the happiness of my family is much more important than whether or not the dishes are done or if I had the time or energy to make dinner that day. Thank you David for loving me and saying that wonderful sentence to me when I needed it most. I love you. So next time you feel like you don't do enough Ashley, or whoever is reading this, remember that someone else thinks that you do.

Outnumbered mom

Sometimes I think about having two kids and it stresses me out ha ha. I love Noelle, she is sweet, silly, affectionate, curious, smart, loving, friendly, amazing, beautiful, helpful, empathetic, she's a great sleeper (now anyway), she loves to cuddle, she's great with other kids, she loves babies, she's a little angel and I adore her! But sometimes she can be quite a handful, as any toddler. She is quite dramatic and can throw a tantrum to rival anyone. When I think about our expectant arrival coming this December I get a little overwhelmed. Noelle gets 100% of my attention right now, and when she has to share me, how will she handle that? When will I take a shower? Or eat?! Most days I do those things while Noelle naps, so what happens when she's napping and the baby is awake? What happens when I have to go to the grocery store? I don't even know how that's possible with two under two! I guess I would have to wear the baby and let Noelle sit in the cart.... Did I mention the lack of sleep?! How can you do that with two kids on different schedules?! Will I ever have any clean clothes? Ok, I could probably manage to wash and dry the clothes, but folding them is like 99% not going to happen. It pretty much only happens about 50% of the time now anyway ha ha. So yeah, sometimes I think about having two kids and it stresses me out.

But sometimes I think about having two kids and it makes me happy. I think about Noelle and all of her wonderful traits and how she's going to make such a great big sister! I think about how my girls will be best friends. I think about all the cuddles and love I will get from my little sweethearts. All those little hugs and kisses I'll get. I think about how little and helpless Noelle used to be and I get an uncontrollable little smile on my face thinking about it, I have loved and still love watching her learn to do new things and become a little person. I love watching her have fun and interact with other people. I still get to watch her grow, but now I will also get to watch another little one grow up! How exciting is that?!

Just yesterday David was like, "Man, what are we going to do when we have two kids?! How are you going to do that all day when I'm not here?!" Uh, yeah, good question honey! Ha ha, I just said, "I guess we'll see!" Because I have no idea! It will be an adventure, that's for sure! We have managed to survive Noelle so far, and she's survived us, so I think our chances of success this time around are pretty good... Of survival that is, not necessarily of knowing what we're doing or doing it well, but surviving, I think we can all manage that ha ha.

I'd love to hear any advice anyone wants to give about adding baby number two to the family. Bring it on.

It's a girl! We have a house. I hate spiders.

Well, we officially announced our pregnancy this Saturday after having our ultrasound on Friday and finding out that we are having another girl! We are so excited! Luckily I show very small in my pregnancies, so we can hide it pretty much as long as we want. Anyway, a girl! Yay! I guess my intuition was right again! We are happy to be having another little girl, it'll be so fun having two girls so close in age, I hope they'll be the best of friends. Also, it's going to be significantly less expensive considering we won't have to buy anything!

I'm 21 weeks along as of today. I am a bit conflicted in saying that though, because in our ultrasound the baby was measuring significantly smaller, 9 days smaller. That's kind of a lot. That would make my due date January 1st instead of December 23rd. The midwife said they would wait until the doctor officially reviews the ultrasound before they change my due date, or until I get closer to term, if the baby still measures small. So I guess we'll see.

We finally closed on our house on July 26th! It was 5 days late, but at least we did it! We are so excited to be moved in! We are getting settled nicely, the main room is unpacked, Noelle's room is unpacked, the bathroom is unpacked and the kitchen is mostly unpacked. We are getting some work done in the kitchen, which they started today, but won't be able to finish until later this week, so once they are done we will finish things up in there. Our bedroom is looking pretty rough still, but that's because I'm going to be painting our dresser and headboard, so we can't put anything in them until the weather clears up and I can get them painted!

It's so fun being homeowners! I'm loving making it our own, nesting, and deciding where everything will go, David is doing lots of little projects to fix things up, like fixing our leaky kitchen faucet last night, putting blinds up in the family room, and putting doorstops in all the bedrooms, I must say it's very sexy seeing him be so handy. We also got a lawn mower and it'll be David's job to mow the lawn every Saturday morning, after mowing it this weekend it seriously made such a big difference! Our house looked so much better! And it didn't creep me out to walk in the grass anymore, so that was a definite bonus. We also inherited a tomato garden, of which we are very much enjoying reaping the benefits. Although, the garden is a little creepy too because they didn't put cages around the tomato plants, so they are crazy and everywhere and I have a horrible fear of spiders, and living in Indiana only increases that fear because they are literally everywhere! It's disgusting, so going to pick tomatoes from the garden, although exciting, creeps me out so bad ha ha. I know, I'm a wuss cake, but an unruly garden plus a spiderweb infestation in the backyard leads to thoughts of arachnophobia and killer spider half breeds taking over my house. Trust me, it's not good. A few days ago I took an old wire hanger and a shoe and got rid of most all the spiderwebs surrounding my house and garage (mostly garage). It made me feel much better and safer, but David thought I being a bit ridiculous. I didn't tackle the inside of the garage as of yet because it scares me too bad and because the light in there doesn't work, so the spiders have a definite advantage, and that's not ok with me! This weekend we will be getting some bug killer and spraying the garage and the outside of the house. That is not negotiable. Luckily we have only had some daddy long legs inside the house, the friendliest and least scary (in my opinion) of all the spiders. I think I have basically eradicated them all now though.

I'll post pictures later of our before and after kitchen and when all the rooms get done and pictures hung and everything.

Our Lucky Lives

Big things are happening in the Richardson household! David has finished his first year of graduate school, which means we have 4 more to go! Our lease for our apartment is up in about a month so we decided to buy a house! I know, crazy right?! But awesome! We have found the most adorable little yellow house that we get the keys to on the 21st of this month! That's less than two weeks away! No, I have not packed a single box as of yet... But I did buy some tape and a tape gun yesterday, so that's progress! I plan on packing our first box today, hopefully Noelle will allow it, because she pretty much calls the shots around here.

This is our cute little home to be. 

We are excited to move in to the new house, we will have a fenced in backyard for Noelle to run and play and for me to have a garden, the house is within walking distance from a great park with a free zoo, fun playgrounds, a pond, train rides, and even a small water park. We'll have a bit more space inside, it's a 3 bedroom as opposed to the two bedroom we are in now, which brings me to my next point, the new addition that will be joining the family in December, we are expecting baby #2! I'm 16 weeks along now and the morning sickness is finally easing up, although most days I still take my anti nausea medication. I don't know why, but we tend to wait to make an "official" announcement until we know the gender of the baby, so I haven't made anything widely known as of yet, but will in a month when we get our 20 week ultrasound and find out the gender! I'm thinking it's a girl, but we'll see! When I was pregnant with Noelle I knew she was a girl from day one, but this time it hasn't been so clear, only recently have I gotten more feelings that it's a girl, so who knows! But either way we already love our little one! I felt the baby move for the first time on Saturday, before I was even 16 weeks along! It was very exciting. I try to be still and quiet for a few minutes each day to try to feel it more, but the baby is still so little (about the size of an avocado according to the app on my phone) that it's hit or miss, but in the next few weeks I should definitely start feeling it more regularly, which will be fun. 

Noelle is still too little to understand all the stuff that is going on, that we'll be moving to a new house and that we're going to have a baby, so I wonder how she will handle all of the changes. She loves other kids and plays really well with them and she gets excited whenever she sees little babies, she always walks up and gets a big smile and touches them really gently (usually) on the hand or the face, it's very cute. I hope she'll love our little one, even though it means she won't get 100% attention from mom and dad like she's used to. 

We just enjoyed a lovely vacation with my family in the mountains of Utah. It was a lot of fun hanging out and having fun with my family, I seriously have an amazing family, and I'm really lucky. Noelle was in heaven! She got to play with her two cousins all the time and play outside getting wet and dirty! I'm pretty sure it was the best week of her life, she LOVED it!

We got to spend the 4th of July seeing fireworks and the Wizard of Oz at
Tuacahn with David's family and my sister and her family.

Hiking in Zion National Park with David's family.

We're having fun and getting ready for big changes ahead! Speaking of which, I better get off the computer now and start packing before Noelle wakes up from her nap! Ok, scratch that... She literally just woke up. Maybe I'll get some packing done later ha ha.

Better

Recently someone invited me to join a book club. I was a little taken back by the invitation, I didn't really know what to say, and it embarrassed me a little but to admit that I have not read a single book since I had my daughter over a year ago. They seemed a little shocked by my confession, but it is what it is. I find some time to read, it's just that I mostly read articles on mothering or marriage or recipes, in the few minutes here and there when Noelle is contentedly playing with her toys on the floor, or for a few minutes when she is napping before I get dressed or make myself lunch or put dinner in the crock pot. Honestly, I don't know how mothers have time to read a book and hold on to a story line with only a few minutes here and there. It made me feel like I'm not doing such a good job being a multitasking mother because I can't do it. I know that was not the intent of my friend, but it made me want to do "better" for a little while. I put the word better in quotation marks because when I think back on that, I feel a bit silly, because thinking that I needed to be a "better" mother because I don't find time to read books (ones with more than 10 pages that is) or go to craft night or even fold and put away the laundry is silly. I am a good mother. So what if I haven't read a book in over a year, I've read every weekly article on my child's development since I found out I was pregnant, I don't usually find time to go to craft night because I like to be home to put my daughter to bed and spend the evening with my husband, I may currently have 4 baskets of clean laundry in my bedroom begging to be folded and put way, but you know what, that is not my priority right now, today I played with my daughter, I laid down on the floor next to her for 2 hours because she wanted me to. Yes I know that I need to fold the laundry, but it's not going to get done today, and that's ok, David and Noelle still love me, even if we have to fish through the laundry basket for a week or more before it gets put away. It's ok. I'm proud of the mothers that find time to read books and go to craft night and fold their laundry, they are good mothers, and so am I, even if I don't do those things. I do my best and I love my family and I can't do better than that.

Times Marches On

Remember how it's been over a year since I've written anything on here? Ha ha. Yeah, I have a beautiful baby girl, Noelle Hailey Richardson, who is just over a year old now... And she is the reason I haven't written, she likes to take up all of my time, in the best way. I love her guts! She's my bestie, she's perfect and I love being her mama. Being a mom is great, seriously, it's so amazing being able to watch  this beautiful human being that I created go from being able to do nothing on her own, to being able to walk and feed herself and understand what I say. It's incredible and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to do that. I love that I have a husband that will support me in staying home with our daughter and being a stay-at-home mom. I can't imagine having to leave her with someone else so that I can go to work, I know tons of moms do that, and it's fine, but it's not for me. I love that I get to stay home and take care of my best girl everyday.

Well, seeing as how it's been a million years since I've written anything I suppose a little catch up is necessary. We live in Lafayette, Indiana now. It's not as small as you probably think... Well at least it's bigger than I thought it was. It's a great place to live, we actually really love it here, minus the horrible winter we just had and the tornado thing, also the smell is pretty bad sometimes because of a local corn syrup factory, but like I said, we love it here. If you watch the show Parks & Rec, we basically live in Pawnee, the parks here are amazing, we have our very own Sweetums factory and the people, though a bit eccentric at times, are really great. David is in school at Purdue and rocking the socks off of his first year. We teach the 7 turning 8 year olds in Primary and we love it, I mean we literally have the best class in the entire Primary, and I'm not just saying that because I'm biased... Although I may be a little biased. Noelle is amazing, although sick right now, she's been surprisingly happy and even tempered. We are looking forward to summer vacations and swimming as soon as the pool opens. We've been taking full advantage of the free zoo and have been several times a week since it opened. We love to visit all the new baby goats in the petting zoo.